You asked...

So I must deliver.

Shining moments from the life of Bryan.

I have to be serious for a moment and say that the past month has been the most exciting, frightening and happy moment for me. I not only married a wonderful woman, but found out that I am going to be a father (fear for the future).

I met America over 5 years ago after a very difficult relationship of 3 years (my previous grilfriend broke up with me in line at graduation...classy). I didn't know how I was going to get over it, but America with kindness and compassion saw me through it. I was not the best person in the world back then and took her kindness, but cast her aside. She moved to New York and I thought that was the end of it. After a series of disastrous relationships and a short-lived wedding, we found each other again. Being in a more fit state of mind, I realized whatI had passed up. We have a serious and deep connection. That, and she gets along with my friends (which is a tremendous feat...we all know why).

With that said...I would have to say my other shining moments would be less amazing and more freakishly strange.

Kindergarten -- Age 5
"The Club"
I actually met Alex in kindergarten, but he will, to this day, never admit he was in this club with me. I can't actually say if he was or not, he may have blocked it from his memory.

The club met after school under the west wing. We had pulled back a bit of chain link and would meet beneath the school. We dragged several benches from the schoolyard and dug a large pit. We would smoke homemade cigarettes made from dry grass and notebook paper. At that age, I was the best artist of the bunch and would draw pictures of naked women for the rest of the group. I even went so far as to sculpt a woman from the sandbox in the palyground...which the other members would hump until she went from a D to an A cup.

The only really strange thing I remember about the club (because the other things aren't strange enough) were the rituals we would perform. We would set up the benches in a circle around the pit and walk on top of them. We would chant as we walked and pushed each other forcefully forward. Whoever fell out of the ring would then have to kiss every other members' ass.

We would line up in a row, drop our pants and wait for the moment.

I never had to kiss anyone's ass, because I never fell out of the circle (I have always had a fairly good sense of balance...most likely from the fact that I wore coke bottles since the age of 3...you know that "other senses improve when another goes"). But I do remember distinctly the feel of hot breath and wet, tear-stained cheeks against my ass .

It only happened once (I swear...at least that what I told my therapist). My mother found out I was sneaking underneath the school and narced on all of us. They boarded up the fence and no one ever spoke of it again.

Promise not to tell.

More to come....me sleepy.